I’d like to thank Jane Heaven, Kevin Mayersky, and Dan Gronwald for establishing the Friends of Yolanda “healing team” as a creative means for mobilizing supportive energies on many levels…you are true friends!”
January 28, 2008
Opening Thoughts:
It’s a gorgeous Monday morning…one of those exquisitely bright and glistening mornings following a long night of heavy rain. Everything is fresh and clean and vibrant. That’s how I’m feeling as well. I know that the brightness of this morning is shining even brighter within as my body/mind/spirit opens to healing.
I give thanks to all of you who so generously send those healing waves in my direction. I receive them and absorb them and feel them transforming me continuously.
My blog is here and my website is getting some much needed attention! What a miracle. Thank you dear Dan and Kevin for your selfless service in setting this up for me. A year ago I didn’t even have the word “blog” in my vocabulary and now I’m given this invaluable tool for sharing with friends and family in a way that would otherwise require much more time and energy.
As I reflect on all the occurrences over the past few months involving my illness, diagnosis, transition into a new reality, and renewed fervor for life it feels like an entire lifetime has cycled through me. I’m truly at a point where I am so in love with the present and learning to accept the mysterious unknown of the future. When I fall into my old worry and fear patterns I notice it, feel it, embrace it if that’s what it needs and then let it go. I’m really learning the difference between being pro-active and trying to control the uncontrollable.
The photos:
Yoga with the Tree: One of my favorite things to do is practice yoga in nature. That is where my heart & soul most clearly commune with the Divine Nature of Being…what I refer to as Grace, Openness and Devotion (G O D). Doing triangle pose at Lake Lagunitas in Marin alongside this grand old tree allows me to open to all the elements: the earth beneath me, the water behind me, the sunlight warming me, the air moving through me and the spacious sky/ether above, within and surrounding me.
Matt & I: The photo of my husband, Matt Venuti, and myself also relates to practicing yoga in nature as it is now our twentieth year since meeting at Ocean Beach in San Francisco where I was practicing my headstand. When I lowered out of the pose I found Matt standing beside me. In his irresistibly friendly manner, he started up a conversation that has continued throughout the years—from courtship to marriage and into the infinity of the present moment!
Matt & I had very similar experiences that guided us to San Francisco. He came from New York and I from New Mexico. He’d lost one of his dear sisters to cancer and I’d lost my best friend to an incurable illness. Now, when we reflect back on those experiences we each feel our dear ones guided us to the moment on the beach where we met…we really needed to find each other. Everything happens for a reason! It’s often hard to know what that reason could possibly be; especially when whatever is happening is difficult and filled with sorrow or suffering. I am now very certain that it’s only a matter of time, patience, courage and wisdom before the truth reveals itself in all matters of life.
Our relationship is based on love and mutual support for following our dreams and creative spontaneity. We’ve each chosen fields that heal and inspire: Matt with his music and I with yoga and its related practices.
The Group Photos: This past week I taught what will be my last public classes for an extended period while I go through treatments to bring myself back to perfect health and well being. The photos were taken on Thursday, Jan. 24th at the YogaStudio in Mill Valley (all the pics with me in a blue top) and on Saturday, Jan. 26th at the Mindful Body in San Francisco (all the pics with me in pink pants). I was surrounded by absolute angels in both classes and Matt provided beautiful accompaniment with his melodic “shamanic drums from outer space” (my description) otherwise known as a “Hang” (usually pronounced like “song”).
I was honored in Mill Valley to have Joan Barnes (the studio owner) and Michelle Fliegauf (program manager) partake in the class. Also present were many long-time students as well as more recent students. I have so enjoyed teaching that class and will miss it every Tuesday and Thursday. I send my love to all who have been so supportive of me, and more so, of themselves through the cultivation of self-awareness through the practice of yoga.
On Saturday in San Francisco I once again had a wonderful show of support from many near and dear students, friends and fellow teachers. The feeling of love in the rooms (we had to use both rooms to accommodate everyone) was palpable. Once again, Matt accompanied us on the Hangs. What a joy! Studio owner Roy Bergman and his wife Janie as well as yoga manager Maile Sivert honored me with their presence as well. Thank you dear ones…all who were able to be there and all who have been supporting me over the years by showing up and being present with me.
When I look at these photos I get completely lost in the magic of each face, each life that is represented, each miracle. I am so very grateful for each and every person I’ve ever had the opportunity to share yoga with: students, friends, family and of course my many wonderful teachers over the years. What a delight! What a blessing! May the sharing continue in new and creative ways.
Parting Thoughts for Today:
Before signing off on this first message, I want to acknowledge with heartfelt thanks several people who’ve been very much in my orbit during this short period of my diagnosis offering invaluable and tireless support to me in many ways. First of all, there is my husband who guided me to the hospital in the first place, has continuously kept my spirits up, accompanied me to every appointment and procedure, implemented a healing diet (which he prepares for me lovingly) and offers his care and attention ceaselessly. My brother in law, Stephen & his wife Linda who gave strong moral support and helped keep life fun and light while visiting with us during that distressing time of first learning more about my new challenge; My dear friends Jane and Dan who created beautiful healing environments including massage and nourishing meals and lots and lots of good belly laughs (very important for healing); My sister Claire who has been offering much love through daily inspirational phone calls and beautiful affirmations to keep me in a positive mental and emotional state; All of my Bain and Venuti family members who continuously send their love, prayers and offers of help; All our near and dear friends and neighbors who are praying and sending love daily; My friends at Ananda (Anandi, Diksha & Peggy) who offered a beautifully powerful healing ritual and their deep love; and very importantly, the ever-widening circle of support that evolves with each new day. If I tried to name all names of the support being offered, this list would go on infinitely…my gratitude would never know an end!
My surgery is scheduled for February 4th early in the a.m. at SF General. I may be there for four or five days. While I don’t look forward to the surgery itself, I do very much look forward to the relief it will bring to my being and the aid it will bring to my overall healing process. Between now and then I may not have a chance to write more, but I will pick it up again as soon as I’m able (or perhaps have Matt offer some thoughts in my absence).
May you all be well; May you all be free from suffering; May you all be open to joy.
Om~Namaste,
Yolanda
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Matt & Yo
