I'm back!

February 19, 2008

Hi There Dear Friends and Family,
I’m slowly emerging from what feels like hibernation that has offered much time and space for healing and strengthening. I have so many thoughts I’d like to share, but for today I’m going to keep this first message since surgery (now 2 weeks and 1 day) a bit on the shorter side.

I’ve desired to write sooner than this but just haven’t had the energy to put my thoughts together. Thank you Matt for filling in for me to keep my dear ones informed. Matt continues to offer his endless support on every level that’s needed…what a true blessing!

Mostly I want you to know that I am so inspired by and grateful for all the lovely messages I’ve received on the guest book of this blog and by the cards, gifts and flowers received via the mail and deliveries. It is all helping me so much. Everyday I am feeling stronger and more vibrant. I am so incredibly excited simply by being alive. I’m enjoying the slowing down of the time/space continuum that makes up my day. It really makes me realize how much of a “hamster wheel” my schedule was prior to this life-changing health issue.

The love, prayers, intentions and visualizations being sent to me are helping so much. There aren’t really words that can convey the depth and effect of this healing energy. I now take time at least 4 times a day: early morning, noon, late afternoon and at bedtime to get into my “receptive mode” and absorb the healing energy being sent my way. One image I’ve had while doing this is that the prayers are like lightly falling snowflakes. Each one is very unique and beautiful and there are hundreds of them. And though that sounds like it could feel cold, they are not cold at all. As they land on my body they just melt into the heat of my being and go to work within me wherever they are most needed to bring about healing and wellness. It’s such a beautiful and peaceful feeling. There is something so calming and quieting about lightly falling snowflakes.

When I was in the hospital I was attached to a machine that was delivering pain medication via an epidural. The machine was very loud and had a kind of rhythmic drone that after a while started to sound like some kind of mantra. I got very quiet and tried to figure out what it was saying and here’s what revealed itself to me: “I love my community…I love my community…I love my community…”. I would lie there and listen to this over and over and in my mind’s eye watch images of all of you passing through me like a river flowing into the sea of infinite love and friendship. My heart and mind have opened in ways I never thought possible. Yes indeed, I love my community!

Upon my discharge from the hospital I was given an instruction sheet that said “no yoga for 28 days”. Right! That lasted as long as it took for me to stand strongly on two feet in “mountain pose”. I have been getting up early everyday and practicing a gentle, yet strengthening, two-hour yoga and meditation session. I’ve been using a folding chair as an aid to help modify many poses and each day I use the chair less. This is my medicine. I am more convinced than ever that yoga and its many related practices are here to heal us…to help us find our true Dharma…our reason for being…Self Realization. So many of the deep teachings of yoga are surfacing through this experience and I look forward to sharing more thoughts on various subjects in the coming months.

I have an appointment with my Doctor this coming Friday and will learn more about what was discovered about my condition as a result of the surgery. I’ve really learned to let go of worrying about needing to know all the facts right now. The facts keep changing with each new day. Apparently, they (the doctors) were very surprised by how much less disease was present once they opened me up. Based on my CT scans of almost 2 months prior there was much more cancer present then. Well…I guess I’m healing…no, I know I’m healing. How can I not be? There are so many loving beings making sure this is happening.

I will write again next week with a health update. In the meantime, keep sending those healing prayers my way…I thrive on them! And, please please take special care to stay strong and healthy and loving and kind in all aspects of your lives. Remember, if we want the world to be a better place we must begin with ourselves first and foremost.

With love, gratitude and deep friendship,
Yolanda

P.S. I want to thank my dear friends at the Mindful Body for the gathering on February 16th. I hear it was lovely and that some nice photos were taken. Once I receive them, I’ll post them on this blog.

Mark you calendars…March 10th (Monday) from 6-9 p.m. there will be a “Friends of Yolanda” benefit held at Clement St. Bar and Grill (Clement near 8th Ave.) spearheaded by “Baseball Mary” and the rest of our long-time friends there at the restaurant. Usually closed on Mondays, the space for this special event is being offered by owners Harold and Hao. More details to follow soon on this blog.